#Bucketlist-update

So humans I have of cours being busy with school but also with working on my bucketlist for 2016. I will updat this 1x-2x a month. It is possible that there are going to be new items on my list. So I hope you guys will enjoy and let’s go!

Things I’ve done:

20. Get a small tattoo that means a lot
28. Go for a night walk
38.Dye My Hair
51. Receive a flower
124. Celebrate Valentine’s day
136. Watch The Superbowl
147. Visit the library

Things still on the list
1. Read 100 Books
2. Make a dreamcatcher
3. Have a tea party
4. Get a bird Tattoo
5. Get three tattoos
6.Write a song
7. Make Spaghetti taco’s
8. Redecorate my room
9. Have a glitter fight
10. Trade I-Pods with someone for a day
11.Tie messages to Balloons and free them
12.Use a fake name at Starbucks
13. eat a whole roll of hubba bubba gum
14. Start a diary and write in it everyday
15. Donate Blood
16.Spend an entire day watching Disney movies
17. Finish a wreck this  journal
18. Make a jar of Lucky paper stars
19. Send a message in a bottle
20. Get a small tattoo that means a lot
21. Learn how to drive
22. Visit Amsterdam
23. Make random plans at night with someone
24. Buy a pair of white shoes and doodle on them
25. Leave a note at the library
26. Attend a festival
27. Participate in a colour run
28. Go for a night walk
29. Have a tech-free day
31. Give 100 compliments in a day
32. See a ballet
33. Get Fit
34. Assemble a list off my favourite quotes
35. Bury a secret
36. Buy the person behind me a coffee
37. Drink tea at a tea house
38. Dye my hair
39. Fill a room full of balloons
40 Fould a thousand paper cranes and make a wish
41. Hand write a love letter
43. Have a pic nic
44. Knit a scarf
45. Make a top 5 of important people and write them a letter.
46. Movie marathon
47. Prepare and eat  six course meal
48. Go on a road trip with the person I love
49. Read 5 books about zombies
50. Receive roses
51. Run 6 days a week for 4 weeks
52. Stay of fb for two weeks
53. Wake up before 6 A.M. for two weeks
54. Walk barefoot in the rain
55. Walk on a beach by moonlight
56. Water gun war
57. Write a letter to myself and open it in a year
58. Carve a pumpkin
59. Start a memory jar
60. Have a candle lit bath
61. Have a dream Bedroom
62. Make a memory Album
63. Visit Stockholm
64. throw a dart at a map and travel to that country
65. Write a book
66. Publish 250 blog posts
67. Have 500 pinterest followers
68. Say yes to everything for a day
69. Celebrate Saint Patrick’s day
70. Play messy twister
71. Party all night long
72. be awake for 24 hours
73. Have a movie marathon
74. Reach my goal weight ( 50kg)
75. Be kissed unexpectedly
76. Cook for my family
77. have a picknick date
78. Bake cookies
79. Go bowling
80. Have a bbq
81. Go watch the fireworks
82. Make lemonade
83. go to the zoo
84. go to  a museum
85. Draw with sidewalk chalk
86. Go for a long bike ride
87. Fall in love
88. Kiss in the rain
89. Ride a rollercoaster
90. Run a 5k
91. Play minigolf
92. Spa day
93. Wear heels
94. Try Yoga
95. Do a DIY project
96. Get the body I want
97. Feed Ducks
98. Make my own Ice tea
99. Get a costume for halloween
100. Make brownies
101. Go on a no budget shopping spree
102. Stay at a hostel
103. Write a poem
104. Make a feelgood booklet
105. Have a photoshoot
106. See the bench of the fault in our stars in Amsterdam
107. Mean Something to someone
109. Go on a breakfast date
110. Visit the Van Gogh  museum
111. Cook every single recipe in a cooking book.
112. Buy random flowers for someone
113. Be a bridesmaid
114. start hitting the gym for at least once a week
115. Have someone make me breakfast
116. Have abs
117. Feel confident in a bikini
118. Go Ice skating
119. Get  muscles
120.  Make my mother breakfast in bed
122. Eat an apple every day for one month
123. Wake up and watch the sunrise
124. Celebrate Valentine’s day
125. Go to a shooting range
126. Celebrate New year’s Eve with friends
127. Go on a spontaneous trip
128.  Have a Quentin Tarantino Marathon
129. Have a Star wars marathon
130. Go to a concert
131. Finish a colouring book
132. Have a photoshoot
133. Go Clubbing
134. Go on  date to the zoo
135. Make  my own recipe book
136. Watch the superbowl
137. Start a memory bus
138. Learn to accept the thing I can’t change
139. Start a new hobby
140. Work-out more often
141. Love myself the way I am
142. Start a youtube channel
143. buy a plant and take care of it
144. enjoy an outdoor egghunt
145. Decorate eggs
146. take photo’s in the rain
147. Visit the library
148. Give  my room a spring clean
149. Go mini-golfing
150. Go rollerblading
151. Eat strawberry shortcake
152. Plant flowers
153. Take  a nature walk
154. Visit Portugal
155. Find a penpal
156. Be a tourist in Ghent
157. Be a tourist in  Brussel
158. Be a tourist in Hasselt
159. Visit Den Haag
160. Visit Scheveningen
161. Eat breakfast outside

#Life-update: the heartbreak and the beautifull people

So humans, I didn’t feel like posting for a week because I was  really devastated and not in the mood to talk about my feelings. I’m still not 100% fully recovered but hey life goes on isn’t it?

So I will start with the sad part. So I officially decided to let that dude go. I won’t go into any details for him and myself. I only want to say that I kinda feel ashamed towards myself. since a very long time I wanted tto give myself to someone. I was really convinced that he was the right one. Unfo I was not welcome in his life. Do I miss him? Yes, I even cry at random moments. It’s fucked up in my head right now. I don’t want to say that I already loved him, but for me he already had a special place in my heart. I hope he will be happy one day but I will never know. And prolly by that time, I even don’t want to know it anymore.

Basically nothing specially happened I went to he movies with my friends ( Deadpool), had a quiz and saw a lot of movies. It’s kinda sad but this is like the whole story I have to tell tho.

❤ xxx Emma

#Life-update: Found people who care, but I feel like you’ve stopped

So guys, like last time I will split this one up with the awesome events and the fucked up things. So If you only want to read the good things, stop after the first chapter. Otherwise keep on reading or do it vice versa.

chapter 1: found people who care

So I had my exam results and I only failed 4 classes. People would say that it is really bad, but for me it’s okay! Because I was ill for almost 3 weeks like fucked up ill so I didn’t had the time to proper study.  So for me it is okay and I’m ready to kick-asses in August.

I also went out this week with some awesome friends and met some new people. Need to say that it was  awesome as well and I’m really happy I did it. I needed to see human beings like today the happiest event was going to the hairdresser. Cutting my hair didn’t make me feel better but talking to her made me feel better. I also went Ice skating yesterday and for the people who don’t know, I am traumatized by ice skating so it was already 11 years ago since I’ve done that. But it was a lot of fun and it also let me forget about my problems.

Chapter 2: …  But I feel like you’ve stopped

Of course we can count the exam part as a bad thing as well but hey let’s not talk about that again ;). So I have again a lot of problems with my parents again. I literally run away from home, prefer to be outside or stay in my room. I’m kinda getting tired of it and really want to move out of the house. Only if I could…

So the title says it all right? Because I’m so tired about telling nothing about this shizzle, I will do now. But of course like always vaguely. So basically I’ve met a guy a few weeks back and in my opinion everything went okay until some events happened. To be honest it’s really hard to be vaguely about it haha. Anyway I started to feel comfortable again and let someone again in the deepest part of my soul.  For example I’m not the type that will cry when others can see it only if I really want it. I also can’t stand consoling while crying and he is one of those very special humans who may do that. Anyway anyhow, I started to get feelings (no I’m not  in love) and it sucks. Because I got the feeling he is just playing with me. In this situation, being autistic and naive sucks.  It seems like he cares about me but on the other hand I got  more the feeling he kinda doesn’t at all. Maybe the word interest is better to use. Anyway, i makes feel really insecure but I kinda don’t want to be a puppy who follows him and will desperately do anything to get him. People have been hurting me for such a long time and I’m scared he will do just the same. Because I can’t make it clear for myself if he wants me or not. He knows I’m searching for something steady so if he doesn’t want me that way then he needs to say it. If he still wants me he need to be fast. Because I’m feeling that I’m letting him go and I don’t know how fast it’s going to be.

And that’s enough drama for today! Hope you guys had a lovely week and keep on enjoying life!

❤ Emma xxx

#bucketlist: what I want to do before I turn 20

Obviously the things I want to do before I turn 20 :D. I’ve made this list after I come back from Romania but only wanted to put it online now. If you want to help me with this, you will be an awesome person! And I will be very grateful for everything :)! But I already kinda extended it to he end of the year haha :D.

1. Read 100 Books
2. Make a dreamcatcher
3. Have a tea party
4. Get a bird Tattoo
5. Get three tattoos
6.Write a song
7. Make Spaghetti taco’s
8. Redecorate my room
9. Have a glitter fight
10. Trade I-Pods with someone for a day
11.Tie messages to Balloons and free them
12.Use a fake name at Starbucks
13. eat a whole roll of hubba bubba gum
14. Start a diary and write in it everyday
15. Donate Blood
16.Spend an entire day watching Disney movies
17. Finish a wreck this  journal
18. Make a jar of Lucky paper stars
19. Send a message in a bottle
20. Get a small tattoo that means a lot
21. Learn how to drive
22. Visit Amsterdam
23. Make random plans at night with someone
24. Buy a pair of white shoes and doodle on them
25. Leave a note at the library
26. Attend a festival
27. Participate in a colour run
28. Go for a night walk
29. Have a tech-free day
31. Give 100 compliments in a day
32. See a ballet
33. Get Fit
34. Assemble a list off my favourite quotes
35. Bury a secret
36. Buy the person behind me a coffee
37. Drink tea at a tea house
38. Dye my hair
39. Fill a room full of balloons
40 Fould a thousand paper cranes and make a wish
41. Hand write a love letter
43. Have a pic nic
44. Knit a scarf
45. Make a top 5 of important people and write them a letter.
46. Movie marathon
47. Prepare and eat  six course meal
48. Go on a road trip with the person I love
49. Read 5 books about zombies
50. Receive roses
51. Run 6 days a week for 4 weeks
52. Stay of fb for two weeks
53. Wake up before 6 A.M. for two weeks
54. Walk barefoot in the rain
55. Walk on a beach by moonlight
56. Water gun war
57. Write a letter to myself and open it in a year
58. Carve a pumpkin
59. Start a memory jar
60. Have a candle lit bath
61. Have a dream Bedroom
62. Make a memory Album
63. Visit Stockholm
64. throw a dart at a map and travel to that country
65. Write a book
66. Publish 250 blog posts
67. Have 500 pinterest followers
68. Say yes to everything for a day
69. Celebrate Saint Patrick’s day
70. Play messy twister
71. Party all night long
72. be awake for 24 hours
73. Have a movie marathon
74. Reach my goal weight ( 50kg)
75. Be kissed unexpectedly
76. Cook for my family
77. have a picknick date
78. Bake cookies
79. Go bowling
80. Have a bbq
81. Go watch the fireworks
82. Make lemonade
83. go to the zoo
84. go to  a museum
85. Draw with sidewalk chalk
86. Go for a long bike ride
87. Fall in love
88. Kiss in the rain
89. Ride a rollercoaster
90. Run a 5k
91. Play minigolf
92. Spa day
93. Wear heels
94. Try Yoga
95. Do a DIY project
96. Get the body I want
97. Feed Ducks
98. Make my own Ice tea
99. Get a costume for halloween
100. Make brownies
101. Go on a no budget shopping spree
102. Stay at a hostel
103. Write a poem
104. Make a feelgood booklet
105. Have a photoshoot
106. See the bench of the fault in our stars in Amsterdam
107. Mean Something to someone
109. Go on a breakfast date
110. Visit the Van Gogh  museum
111. Cook every single recipe in a cooking book.
112. Buy random flowers for someone
113. Be a bridesmaid
114. start hitting the gym for at least once a week
115. Have someone make me breakfast
116. Have abs
117. Feel confident in a bikini
118. Go Ice skating
119. Get  muscles
120.  Make my mother breakfast in bed
122. Eat an apple every day for one month
123. Wake up and watch the sunrise
124. Celebrate Valentine’s day
125. Go to a shooting range
126. Celebrate New year’s Eve with friends
127. Go on a spontaneous trip
128.  Have a Quentin Tarantino Marathon
129. Have a Star wars marathon
130. Go to a concert
131. Finish a colouring book
132. Have a photoshoot
133. Go Clubbing
134. Go on  date to the zoo
135. Make  my own recipe book
136. Watch the superbowl
137. Start a memory bus
138. Learn to accept the thing I can’t change
139. Start a new hobby
140. Work-out more often
141. Love myself the way I am
142. Start a youtube channel
143. buy a plant and take care of it
144. enjoy an outdoor egghunt
145. Decorate eggs
146. take photo’s in the rain
147. Visit the library
148. Give  my room a spring clean
149. Go mini-golfing
150. Go rollerblading
151. Eat strawberry shortcake
152. Plant flowers
153. Take  a nature walk
154. Visit Portugal
155. Find a penpal
156. Be a tourist in Ghent
157. Be a tourist in  Brussel
158. Be a tourist in Hasselt
159. Visit Den Haag
160. Visit Scheveningen
161. Eat breakfast outside

 

 

 

 

#Music: This is how I feel

So this time I will post again a music-post! normally I would only do this  stuff on monday but ooh well let’s be crazy, right?Did you guys btw know that the original plan for this category was to show 10 songs I discovered that week? Unfo, I have so many things to watch and listen on YT that I’m not even able any more to listen to music. Which sucks btw since music has been my life since I was a small kid. So this weekly theme is again some songs that explain how I feel. I will not explain every song since it’s not necessary. I will only explain the ‘weird’ ones. So enjoy and leave a song in the comments about how you feel ;). 

Wish you were here- Incubus

I know this song from 2013 I guess. But I never had real specific feelings towards this song. In June 2014 my great grandfather died. He was the first close person in my life that passed away. I was is Greece in August 2014 and I needed to take my plane back home. When we took off and I heard this song jamming through my earphones, I had anxiety, I cried and I needed to think about my great granddad.
But what does this story has to do with my feelings now? Today, I was thinking about who I really miss so hard for some weird reason since this person is like not a big part part of my life (yet). Immediately I needed to think to this song an started crying and getting again anxiety. It’s so weird tho. Why are you doing this to me Incubus?

I need your love- Calvin Harris FT. Ellie Goulding

Why’d you only  call me- Artic Monkeys


“The mirror’s image

Tells me it’s home time
But I’m not finished
‘Cause you’re not by my side
And as I arrived I thought I saw you leaving
Carrying your shoes
Decided that once again I was just dreaming
Of bumping into you”

I get literally chills from this song. For some reason when I hear these lyrics I kinda get high or drunk myself just by listening to this song. And my emotions just feel the same.

I know it was  not a very long list but I feel very empty the last few days and these three songs are the ones who describe my head the best ATM. What song describes your mood?

❤ Emma

 

 

 

#Challenge: Actors where I would go on a date with

This one is again a more fun post. But hey it can be interesting? So for this blog I will list a few actors I would love to date with.  So let’s go!

Oscar Isaac
5/01/1980 (Guatemala)
American
A most violent year, Ex Machina and Star wars: the force awakens

 

Hugh Laurie
11/06/1959 (United Kingdom)
English
House M.D., Blackadder, Stuart Little and a bit of Fry and Laurie

Robert Downey Junior
4/04/1965 (USA)
American
Iron Man, Incredible hulk, Sherlock Holmes and The avengers

Hugh Jackman
12/10/1968 (Australia)
Australian
X-men, Van Helsing, Australia, Wolverine and Pan

Norman Reedus
6/01/1969 (USA)
American
American Gangster, Air and The Walking Dead

Ryan Reynolds
23/11/1976 (CANADA)
Canadian
The Proposal, Buried, The green Lantern And deadpool

David Giuntoli
18/06/1980 (USA)
American
Grimm

Jason O’Mara
06/08/1972 (Ireland)
Irish
Resident Evil, Terra Nova, One for the money and Justice League series

Matt Smith
28/10/1983 (United Kingdom)
English
Doctor Who

Chris Evans
12/06/1981 ( USA)
American
Not another teen movie*, Fantastic Four, Thor and Captain America

So this is my list of the actors I would date if I had the chance. With ho do you want to date?

❤ Emma xxx

*My blog name is inspired by this movie title.

#Life-update: How things always get weird

So fella’s here is the life-update I’ve promised. My life has been awesome, hectic and many more! So I will divide this blog in 2 chapters: The awesome side and the kill me now side.  So if you want to be happy, read the first part only ;).

Chapter 1: The awesome side of things

So basically a lot of people already noticed that I’m more happy. Of course in some way they are right. I’m more happy then I was 1 month ago. I feel better and I have more energy. Reasons why? Of course because my exams are over and I’m not that sick anymore. My back is getting better as well!

I’m also very happy that I switched studies. Not only because this subject fits me better but also because I had the chance to meet awesome new people. Last year I didn’t have any friends but now I have a bunch of awesome lovely ones. And you know what the best part of the story is? That I don’t need to be ashamed of being who I am and that I can tell them any small problem in my life. I always have fun with them and I love them with my whole heart <3.

I also found peace somewhere deep inside of me. I am able to focus myself more on the positive things and I’m able to let go of all the bullshit and people around me. Also the fact that I’m less  around on social media relieves my stress. I think it’s the best decision I’ve ever made to be honest.

 Chapter 2:  What is secretly killing me

Unfor, my brain feels a bit different about everything. Every time when I’m completely lonely or when I don’t have to do stuff, I feel really sad. I can cry for hours without any reason. It makes me really tired and I really don’t want it. I hope this will be over soon but I’m scared that this get worse.

I lost a lot of people for some reason. I was always there for them but suddenly when I found some happiness, they were angry for it. It’s kinda harsh but that’s life tho. I’m better off without them. I also don’t know what my relationship is with some people and it really frustrates me. Because I kinda need to know.

❤ xxx Emma